


Not So Meaningless

by skyelyr_shepard



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke, One-sided Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, Sexual Content, SouMako - Freeform, Unrequited Love, and possibly too much alcohol, sarcasm and sweetness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4151334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyelyr_shepard/pseuds/skyelyr_shepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The heart is an extraordinary organ. It adapts, repairs and endures. </p><p>It never truly breaks.</p><p>"Not So Meaningless" is a collection of moments in which Yamazaki Sousuke and Tachibana Makoto discover that laughing and loving again is possible and that (yeah, as fucking cheesy as it sounds) the heart really does go on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. laughing again

"You know, Tachibana, with a little bit of work you could be a threat,” Sousuke says.

He leans against the wall in the darkened hall, expression cool. Makoto inclines his head.

“Yamazaki-kun.”

“Sousuke,” Sousuke corrects.

Makoto attempts to hide his surprise and pauses. A painful silence blooms. “Makoto then,” he allows finally.

Sousuke pushes off the wall, all liquid grace, and glides past Makoto.

“See you around, _Makoto,_ ” he exhales in a rush of teal.

 

* * *

 

“You’re fucking with Haru’s head.”

“Yeah? Well tell your little boyfriend to quit messing with Rin then. He needs to back o-“

Makoto slams a hand into his chest and _fuck_ , if it isn’t weird to see Tachibana Makoto flushed and aggressive. Sousuke feels the perverse urge to laugh.

Makoto’s eyes won’t let up though, glaring into his like he’s looking for cracks, looking for some way to shut him off. Well Sousuke is not Nanase, he's not gonna bend over and take Makoto’s shit simply because Makoto uses those eyes on him. He stares back, giving as good as he’s got, Makoto’s hand wound in the front of his shirt.

Makoto eventually relents, releasing him like he would a leaf in the wind. He just lets go, dangling his open hand there for a second before he turns.

“Stay the fuck away from him,” he says in farewell.

Sousuke lets out the breath he’s been holding.

_Fucking swimming, man._

 

* * *

  

Sousuke bounds up the steps to the train station two at a time.

”Oi, Rin! I gotta-“

He freezes.

Rin has Nanase pressed up against a pillar, going full dentist on him, by the sounds of it. Their hands are in each other’s coats and when Rin rolls his hips up against Nanase’s, that black-haired bastard makes a wet strangled sound in return.

Vaguely, he registers footsteps behind him.

“Excuse me, Yamazaki-kun, have you seen Haru aroun-“

Makoto steps up beside him, and chokes. Sousuke turns, wanting to do something, not sure if he should push Makoto back down the stairs or confess that he didn’t know either or laugh at how ridiculous this is because _of course Rin would find someone else, Sousuke’s never been enough_.

Makoto’s expression is fucking pathetic. He looks like he’s just been handed a box of dead kittens or something.

It’s the last straw. This expression is even worse than those damn puppy eyes Makoto does when he’s trying to be convincing. Sousuke stumbles back down the stairs.

Behind him, Makoto starts like he’s had a glass of water thrown in his face. He turns quickly and they descend in silence. At the bottom of the stairs he speaks up shakily.

“Sousuke…”

“Don’t.”

Fucking Tachibana Makoto and his unrelenting quest to feel sorry for everyone else, like he hasn’t just seen the boy of his dreams swapping spit with Rin.

_Rin._

Soususke grinds his teeth to stop the tears stinging in his eyes.

He leaves Makoto there and doesn’t see him again for a long time.

 

* * *

 

Makoto is drunk. Soooo drunk right now.

Finally.

The lightness in his head and the pounding of his heart could almost be mistaken for happiness, for joy. He could be coiled at the starting block, awaiting the call. Maybe he’s laughing breathlessly with the twins, half-heartedly pushing away their sticky kisses. Maybe he’s even pulling Haru out of the bath, letting his hand linger in Haru’s, stomach fluttering.

He takes another drink.

 

* * *

 

Makoto puts down his pencil to peer at his buzzing phone. It’s Haru.

“Hey Haru,” he murmurs.

“I made it,” Haru says simply.

Makoto struggles momentarily. There’s so much he wants to say, but now is not the time.

 _This is about Haru,_ he reminds himself.

“Haru…I… I knew you could do it, you’re-“

He swallows, throat gone tight. He _knows_ Haru is rolling his eyes right now, in that strange, affectionate way of his.

He clears his throat.

“Congratulations Haru,” he says warmly, proud to hear no tremor in his words.

 

* * *

 

Sousuke had forgotten what being around Rin was like. He’d exploded into Sousuke’s quiet apartment two hours ago, flushed and grinning and _so damn loud_ that Sousuke had momentarily thought something was wrong.

It wasn’t, everything was perfect.

“The Olympics!” Rin had roared, before he’d tackled Sousuke in a hug that felt so right, so natural, even if it’d been two years since the last one.

Rin chattered constantly from that point on. He was going back to Iwatobi for a week, Haru was coming, _please say you’ll come visit, we’re gonna have a party and everything…_

And Sousuke sits back and watches the chaos, grinning like a little fucking kid.

 

* * *

 

Naturally, Haru had failed to mention the entirety of Iwatobi would be at this ‘little get-together’ Rin had planned.

It felt like that, anyway, Makoto muses, as he leans against the cool exterior of Haru’s house finishing his third beer. Haru and Rin had been at the center of a barely controlled maelstrom all night, friends and teammates and fans circling and smiling and bowing. Makoto isn’t sure how Haru’s doing it. The Haru he knew would’ve snuck away long ago, but he seems to be a different man now.

To be fair, Makoto is a different Makoto as well.

“Tachibana Makoto,” someone says dryly.

He looks up and it’s Sousuke on the steps above him, a case of beer in hand, trademark disinterested smirk present.

Makoto looks away.

“Yamazaki.”

He’s being curt and he knows it, but he can't shake the feeling that if he looks Sousuke in the eye he’ll be forced to recall unpleasant things. He doesn’t need that now. What he needs is…

“Another beer?”

Sousuke descends and presses one into Makoto’s open hand, not waiting for a reply.

“Thanks,” Makoto mumbles.

Sousuke leans against the house and looks out at the throng of people, softly illuminated by the dusky sky.

“So you’re being cheerful,” he smirks sarcastically. “Taking a page out of Nanase’s book?”

Makoto snorts.

“I wish,” he says (a little too bitterly, _fuck Makoto, stop that)_ , waving his beer in Haru’s general direction.

Sousuke’s clear teal eyes take in Haru’s pleasant smile and his crush of admirers and he lets out a small laugh.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Nanase Haruka: life of the party.”

He turns to Makoto, grinning easily.

“And there’s not even a pool in sight.”

Makoto laughs, feeling his chest loosen a bit. So he’s not the only one.

Somehow, he and Sousuke stay there the rest of the night, finishing the case of beer and then some.

 

* * *

 

Makoto calls him two days later.

“You going to the thing at Rin’s?” he asks when Sousuke picks up.

Sousuke wipes the sweat from his brow, sucking in a deep breath in an attempt to even out his breathing.

“Sorry,” comes Makoto’s hesitant tone, “Is this a bad time?”

“Nah,” Sousuke exhales. “Just in the middle of a run actually.” He huffs an exasperated laugh. “I’m so fucking out of shape…”

Makoto laughs. 

“Hardly,” he says breezily.

Sousuke pauses. _Innocent-puppy-Makoto says what?_

“Well, are you?” Makoto repeats.

”Out of shape?” Sousuke replies, puzzled.

“No, going to Rin’s!”

Makoto is laughing again.

“Right. Uh yeah, why?” He stops walking, leaning his weight onto his right foot, hip cocked jauntily. “Are you just making sure I’ll have more beer with me this time?”

“Believe it or not, I’m not using you for your alcohol,” Makoto fires back. “I’m actually wondering if you needed a ride.”

A pause.

“I can drive now,” Makoto says unnecessarily.

 _For fuck’s sake,_ Sousuke thinks. A  _damn child._

But he’s grinning in spite of himself as he accepts.


	2. trying again

Rin slides up to Haru and kisses him in full view of his guests. Sousuke watches Makoto delicately avert his eyes, hands playing restlessly with the neck of his beer bottle.

Tonight’s affair turned out to be much more intimate and much more alcohol soaked than the previous one. The telltale blush of drink has spread itself across Rin’s smooth cheeks, tendrils creeping down his slender neck. Sousuke watches Haru place a quiet hand at the hollow of Rin’s throat, tracing the color with his fingertips.

Sousuke excuses himself.

Outside he breathes heavily, pressing his free hand to his cheeks, trying to calm the flush.

_Fuck fuck fuck._

The door slides open behind him and with it comes a wave of laughter and music. Makoto steps into view.

He doesn’t say anything, but he’s doing that thing again, the one where he looks like maybe it’s all his fault. His brows contract minutely.

“Sousuke…” he begins.

 _My life is a fucking circle,_ Sousuke thinks crazily.

He holds up a hand to stop Makoto and he does. Unexpectedly, Makoto reaches out a hand, somewhat tentatively, and touches his shoulder softly. His eyes are soft, understanding.

Sousuke stands suddenly, Makoto’s hand falling away in surprise.

“Gotta go,” he mumbles, and staggers off into the darkness, leaving Makoto standing alone behind him.

_A circle indeed._

 

* * *

 

Makoto idly considers calling Sousuke again. He’s left a few messages and sent a few texts but it appears Sousuke’s either dropped his phone into the sea, or he’s ignoring Makoto.

Makoto sighs.

 

* * *

 

Makoto is being a damn pest. He insists on apologizing for last Thursday, for being too forward, for bugging him… and for any other microscopic dents he might’ve put in Sousuke’s armor.

Sousuke’s pretty sure Makoto would try apologizing for Nanase and Rin as well, but at least he’s not dumb enough to say it.

Yet, anyway.

Sousuke grinds his teeth irritably, hands clenched, breath coming harsh through his nose. He needs a drink.

Hey now, there’s an idea…

 

* * *

 

Makoto is drunk. Sousuke is drunker.

It’s loud and hot and it smells like spilled beer and shitty vodka in here but at least Haru’s not here to trace his fingers gently down Rin’s throat, his eyes glittering all the while like two enormous sapphires.

 _Fuu-huuuck,_ Makoto laughs to himself.

He’s thoroughly hammered if he’s comparing Haru-chan’s eyes to fucking sapphires.

“I’mma go,” he mutters to Sousuke, sliding out of the booth.

Sousuke looks blearily up at him.

“Can I come?” he breathes, and Makoto is drowning in teal as he looks down at him.

 _Not the right shade_ , Makoto thinks suddenly. _Or is it hue?_

He chokes back a dry laugh and it sounds like a sob.

“Sure,” he murmurs, and offers Sousuke his hand.

Sousuke doesn’t let go until they’re inside Makoto’s tiny apartment, where he slides his hand to Makoto’s throat and presses him into the wall. He kisses him hard.

Makoto kisses him back.

 

* * *

 

Makoto makes him tea in the morning, offers him the shower and mercifully says nothing else.

Sousuke considers saying something. Sorry, maybe?

Sorry I got so drunk? Sorry I fucked you against the wall in your tiny kitchen while your cat watched?

He lets the water run over his face, down his chest, along his thighs and through his toes and realizes he doesn’t have the courage for sorry.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, when Makoto hands him a few Tylenol on his way out. He tries to put more meaning behind the word than is really necessary for a few pain relievers. He thinks Makoto gets it.

Makoto gives him a small smile and small promise.

“Anytime,” he says. 


	3. trying again (pt. 2)

Sousuke calls him five minutes after he leaves.

“Sousuke?” Makoto answers hesitantly.

“Makoto, I’m an asshole,” he says in one breath, letting the words tumble out before he can freeze up.

“No-“ Makoto begins.

“Hear me out. I never meant for last night to be… to be like that, I took advantage of-“

“No,” Makoto interrupts, “I invited you, I’m not an idiot I kn-“

“…didn’t mean to get so drunk, I wanted to do something wit-“

“…and it wasn’t too much-“

“…I’m sorry.”

“…I liked it.”

Sousuke takes a breath, ears burning. It was cool outside, a grey and quiet morning. Makoto is quiet as well.

“Can we try again?” Sousuke asks shakily.

“Try again?” replies Makoto, his voice sounding very small.

“Yeah, I don’t know, like… do something without getting so shitfaced?”

A breath of wind lifts his hair gently.

“I’d like tha…I mean, yeah, er, yes! Yes.”

Sousuke laughs, his breath coming out in a big _whoosh_ of relief he hadn’t known he’d been waiting for.

“Ideas?”

Makoto is smiling when he answers.

“How about we go swimming?”

“That’s so damn cliché,” Sousuke shoots back, but shit, he hasn’t been swimming with anyone in years. He misses it.

“Tomorrow?” Makoto says happily. “Or we could go Wednesday after I get off work because I’ve got free-“

“Tomorrow,” Sousuke replies.

“I’ll pick you up?”

“Sure. Because --wait—you can drive now, right?” Sousuke says slyly.

Makoto laughs and Sousuke does too.

 

* * *

 

Mako: [Thanks for swimming! Hope you’re not too tired!]

Reply: [Yeah yeah, shut up.]

Reply: [I had a good time though. Missed it.]

Mako: [Know what you mean.]

Mako: [Let’s do this again?]

Reply: [For sure.]

Mako: [Great :) night Sousuke.]

Reply: [Night Makoto.]

 

* * *

 

Sousuke is powerful, Makoto observes.

Makoto watches him kick off the wall and sweep his arms expansively, pulling his broad chest through the water.

Makoto’s legs are in the pool, goggles and cap nearby. The smell of chlorine and the steady undulations of the water lull him into a peaceful trance.

So when he inevitably thinks _Haru should be here too_ , it’s with a kind of casual half-attention he’s never been able to pull off before.

 

* * *

 

Rin calls and Sousuke doesn’t go out and get drunk afterward. It’s 11:30 and he yawns and Rin chides him for being an old man and Sousuke laughs and tells him to shut the fuck up.

Sousuke says goodbye first. He rolls over in bed and texts Makoto before he falls asleep, reminding him of their swim date in the morning.

 _Swim date,_ he thinks with mock exasperation. _God, I’m an idiot._

 

* * *

 

They eat dinner together. 

Makoto is laughing and it’s funny because he’s struggling to keep all the noodles in his mouth. Sousuke puts his elbows on the counter and grins stupidly.


	4. loving again

Nagisa is on his knees on the floor, screaming at the television. Rei is to Makoto’s left, wringing his hands nervously. On Sousuke’s right, Nitori is a small terrified lump of blankets, in danger of being toppled to the floor by Momo’s excessive bouncing.

Makoto’s got one fist wrapped in the sleeve of Sousuke’s shirt, the other pressed against his open mouth, knuckles white.

Sousuke feels strangely calm.

Nanase and Rin make the final turn and Nagisa’s screams reach an impossibly high pitch. Rei leans forward, Nitori gasps, Momo freezes and Makoto curls his hand into Sousuke’s shirt and sucks in a quiet breath.

Sousuke’s stomach flutters.

In a second the race is over. It’s a frantic moment before the times and placings can be arranged on the screen but when they finally appear, its chaos.

Momo launches himself from the couch, yelling gleefully. Nitori dissolves into a tearful mess and Nagisa screams “Haru-chan!” and seizes Rei, who makes a choking sound and starts crying as he’s pulled from the couch. The Japanese announcers have been stunned into momentary silence.

Silver and bronze. Haru and Rin.

Makoto is beaming at the screen, practically radiating joy. He turns his brilliant gaze to Sousuke in celebration, his warm fist still against Sousuke’s bicep, eyes shining and cheeks flushed.

Sousuke can't breathe.

“They did it,” Makoto murmurs reverently, and his gentle voice cuts through the screaming and crying and Sousuke shivers.

“’koto,” he chokes out, reaching his other arm around for Makoto’s face, his arm... anything.

Nagisa lands in his lap suddenly, with a deafening “SOU-CHANNNN” and an explosion of happy tears and Sousuke recoils. Makoto’s fist drops from his shirt.

Nitori bumps gently into Sousuke’s other side, still sobbing, and Sousuke looks up helplessly. Makoto hides a smile behind his hand but his eyes are gentle and warm.

Sousuke shifts awkwardly under Nagisa’s weight and smiles back, heart pounding wildly.

 

* * *

 

“Special.”

Makoto sighs.

“That’s it?!”

“ _Very_ special,” Haru adds slyly.

Makoto stifles a laugh.

“You just won a silver medal in the Olympics and that's how you feel. You're impossible.”

“It wasn’t the gold though.”

Makoto rolls his shoulders, leaning back into the steps.

“There’s always next time, Haru.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They fall silent. The silence stretches from seconds into minutes, calm and unhurried. 

“I’ll be back in Tokyo in two weeks,” Haru says.

“Dinner’s on me?” Makoto asks, smiling.

It's not really a question.

“Thanks for calling, Makoto,” Haru murmurs.

“’course,” Makoto replies easily. A sudden thought occurs to him. “Hey, Haru, is… is Rin gonna be okay about this? About losing I mean?”

“He’s okay,” Haru answers. Makoto hears the small smile in his voice. “He’s alternating between trying to kick my ass and then trying on his medal in front of the mirror.”

Haru chuckles suddenly.

“ _Medal._ I can’t believe it.”

“I can,” Makoto says loyally.

Haru is silent.

Makoto smiles.

“See you in two weeks, Haru.”

“Later, Makoto.”

 

* * *

 

Sousuke and Makoto take the train back to Tokyo together.

Sousuke falls asleep an hour into the ride and his head slides down onto Makoto’s shoulder. It’s so damn cliché Makoto wants to laugh.

He doesn’t though, because that’d wake Sousuke.

Instead, he watches their reflection in the opposite train window, grinning stupidly.

 

* * *

 

Rin cries the entire first five minutes of the Skype call. Sousuke is in near hysterics, because it’s just _so Rin._

”I missed you, you magnificent bastard,” Sousuke says affectionately, once Rin’s calmed down a bit.

Rin sniffles slightly.

“Whatever, man. I hear you're on to replacing me already…”

His watery smile transforms into a smirk.

Sousuke rolls his eyes, grimacing.

“I take back what I said. The _missing you_ and _magnificent_ parts, anyway. You’re still a bastard.”

Rin grins lazily, tilting back in his chair, hands crossed behind his head.

”So defensive!” he gasps in mock horror. “Methinks the lady doth protest too mu-“

“Alllllright, shut the fuck up,” Sousuke groans. “Can’t you just start with the ‘showing off my medal’ part already?”

Rin sits up sharply. “Now there’s an idea!”

Sousuke laughs.

“I hate you so much, Rin,” he chuckles.

“Love you too,” simpers Rin.  

 

* * *

 

Mako: [How’s Rin?]

Reply: [His usual self.]

Reply: [Cried for like ten minutes before he could even talk to me.]

Mako: [Hahahaha sounds like Rin :)]

Mako: [He’s okay with the placing?]

Mako: [I mean Haru said he was but you’re his best friend soo…]

Reply: [Yeah, he’s good.]

Reply: [You think I’m his best friend?]

Mako: [Yah, it’s obvious!]

Reply: [I guess so, yeah.]

Reply: […]

Reply: [Hey, we still swimming tomorrow?]

Reply: [I missed it while we were in Iwatobi.]

Mako: [Yes please!]

Mako: [I missed it too! I might have missed your smiling morning face too ;)]

Reply: [I’m gonna kick your ass tomorrow for that comment.]

Mako: [Deal. Sweet dreams Sousuke :)]

Reply: [Better rest up....]

Reply: [And goodnight Makoto :)]


	5. loving again (pt. 2)

It’s pouring outside when they leave the locker room.

Sousuke is woefully unprepared for such a deluge and Makoto notices. He insists on Sousuke coming over to his place, a mercifully short walk from their swim center. It’s not like Sousuke could refuse anyway. Makoto takes on a suspiciously mother-like tone in situations like this, and Sousuke isn’t sure if he should be intimidated or amused.

They run breathlessly back to Makoto’s, bursting inside with glowing faces and sopping clothes.

Makoto grimaces when he sees a puddle forming on the floor beneath them.

“This won’t do,” he murmurs.

He leaves Sousuke in the kitchen.

Sousuke looks around curiously. Everything looks unfamiliar, but that’s hardly a surprise. Last time he’d been here he’d been five shots too deep with his hand down Makoto’s pants.

_Makoto’s pants._

He squirms uncomfortably in his wet clothes. 

_He slides Makoto’s jeans down over his ass and damn he looks good like this; his face pressed into the wall and his back lean and long, the muscles tapering into an elegant, slender waist._

_Sousuke ghosts his lips over Makoto’s ear and runs a hand along his back, down to his ass, and Makoto exhales a ragged, wet moan._

_Oh god. Makoto has no right to sound like that._

_Sousuke sticks two fingers into his mouth, slicking them with saliva, his other hand encircling Makoto’s wrist, pinning hi—_

The clothes hit Sousuke in the face and almost go uncaught, but Sousuke’s got good reflexes and currently, a very strong desire to avoid Makoto’s discerning gaze.

“Nice catch,” Makoto smirks.

Sousuke briefly considers smothering himself with said clothing. Unfortunately, Makoto would likely blame himself for Sousuke’s depraved suicide act because Makoto is some sort of adorable, mother-ish saint.

 _It **is** his fault though, _ Sousuke thinks grudgingly, pulling on Makoto’s ( _oh god it smells like him)_ t-shirt in the tiny bathroom.

He lets his head thunk into the wall, breathing raggedly.

_Makoto groans beneath him and Sousuke breathes wetly into the hollow of his neck, mouthing loosely at the corded muscle ther-_

“Sousuke?” Makoto calls out tentatively.

Sousuke pushes off the wall, pressing a cool hand to his burning cheeks. “Yeah?”

There’s a pause.

“I, er…tea?” Makoto asks hesitantly, his voice muffled through the door.

 _Tea_ , Sousuke thinks wildly. _Fuck me._

 _No, Makoto,_ he wants to shout. _I don’t want your fucking tea. I kinda just want to see you half naked and begging for it with those pretty eyes of yours 'cuz I’m pretty sure I’m going insane right now and you’re the reason why._

But because Sousuke is a coward, he accepts Makoto’s tea with a ‘Thanks’ and nothing more.

When it finally stops raining and Makoto decides its safe enough for Sousuke to go home, Sousuke feels like he’s escaping rather than just leaving.

 

* * *

 

Makoto texts him just as he’s walking back into his own apartment.

Mako: [Still wanna swim on Friday?]

Sousuke growls in frustration.

Reply: [Hell yeah :)]

 _Weak,_ he thinks. _I’m so fucking weak._

 

* * *

 

Makoto notices a passerby’s teal shirt and thinks of Sousuke.

He doesn’t wonder why.

 

* * *

 

“Makoto, man, you don’t look so good,” Sousuke says hesitantly.

Makoto looks up from the couch blearily.

Sousuke stands there, like some Greek statue come to life, holding a plastic bag of food in one hand and his phone in the other. There’s a little furrow between his brow.

 _Cute,_ Makoto thinks dreamily.

“Makoto?”

Sousuke’s eyebrows are traveling farther up his forehead and he’s starting to look a little panicked.

With a great effort Makoto hoists himself up. The room spins a little.

“The doctor gave me some pretty top shelf cough syrup,” he explains calmly.

A pause.

“I'm so fucking high right now.”

Sousuke laughs, his head tilting back, eyes crinkling in the corners. Makoto watches him, chest strangely tight.

Sousuke takes a step forward. There’s a still faint smile on his face and his eyes are warm. He sets down the bag of food and presses his palm to Makoto’s cheek. His touch is warm, like sun-soaked concrete.

Makoto freezes.

“You’re hot,” Sousuke murmurs.

“I know right,” Makoto chokes out and Sousuke is laughing again, his breath tickling Makoto’s face.

Sousuke gently removes his hand from Makoto’s face and reaches for the food.

“Alright, you self-centered bastard, I brought food. Whatcha want?”

Makoto leans back into the couch watching Sousuke unpack their dinner. He wonders if Sousuke feels _his_ heart jump when Makoto touches him.  

He hopes he does.

 

* * *

 

“Haru, you promised!”

“I said I’d think about it,” Haru replies coolly. “And I did. I’m still ordering mackerel.”

“But it smells!” Rin whines.

“…smells delicious, you mean,” Haru corrects, looking offended.

“Seriously,” Interrupts Sousuke. “You’re fighting over mackerel?!”

Haru gives him a scandalized look. Rin looks exasperated.

“Whatever.” Sousuke sighs. “Sorry to interrupt your weird ass foreplay. Please continue.”

“As I was saying…” Haru says, looking back to Rin.

Makoto lifts his cup and grins into his drink.

 

* * *

 

“You guys are weird as fuck,” Sousuke grins. “But dinner was pretty fun. Thanks for the invite.”

“Mmm yeah, whatever,” Rin drawls. “And it was Haru’s idea anyway.”

Sousuke sits up.

“He…invited me?”

Rin looks down at his long fingers, idly cleaning a fingernail.

“He knows you’re friends with Makoto. And Makoto means the world to him.”

“Er-“

“He’d be very disappointed if anyone hurt Makoto. _Very_.”

“Um-“

“Just putting that out there,” Rin smiles innocently. 

“Anyway, I gotta go man, early practice tomorrow. See ya round, k?”

Rin flashes him a grin and ends the Skype call. Sousuke sits back in his desk chair, confused.

_What the hell was that?_

 


	6. together again

Makoto holds out a hand to him, a gentle smile on his face. The warm light of the sunset catches every droplet of water clinging to his face and turns his eyes a clear hazel. He blinks once, slowly, the long lashes on each lid still clumped together with pool water.

He’s beautiful.

How the fuck had Sousuke missed this?

He can’t seem to stop looking at Makoto. Makoto half-clothed in the locker room, Makoto smiling kindly at the lady receptionist, Makoto grinning into the orange evening light. Sousuke catalogues each snapshot, like some sort of wildlife enthusiast, storing them away for later; later when Makoto inevitably turns away for his own apartment, own evening, own life.

The dreaded corner approaches, the intersection where they part, and something is clawing wildly at Sousuke’s insides. Goddammit. This shit would be so much easier if he were drunk. Fuck.

But he sneaks a look at Makoto, who’s rummaging in his bag for something, and thinks, in a way, he kinda feels drunk already.

He tears his gaze away, cheeks heating.

For fucks sake, his own mind is so goddamn embarrassing sometimes.

 

* * *

 

“Here,” Makoto says, hoping his voice doesn’t waver too horrendously.

Sousuke swivels his head to look at him, looking… guilty? No that can’t be right. Makoto is just shit at reading facial expressions, as usual.

Sousuke sees the key in Makoto’s hand and his expression changes. Makoto has a momentary freak out at the fierce confusion on Sousuke’s face but doesn’t let that stop him.

_You can do this._

“For you,” Makoto explains, seeing the questions in Sousuke’s face. “If you ever need anything, you don’t need to call anymore.”

Sousuke’s face flushes beautifully ( _beautifully? what?_ ) as Makoto drops the key into his palm. There’s a moment of silence. A soft breeze comes by and ruffles the damp hair on Makoto’s forehead.

“You’re going to regret this,” Sousuke breathes finally, letting his eyes meet Makoto’s. He’s grinning but his eyes are dark and warm. Makoto shivers.

“I’m gonna be so annoying,” Sousuke says, but he’s whispering now, stepping right into Makoto’s space, gaze determined.

“Is that a threat?” Makoto asks, hoarsely.

“A promise,” Sousuke replies, and then he’s kissing Makoto on the street corner in the blazing light of the sunset and Makoto’s knees feel weak.

Sousuke pulls back with a wet groan that goes straight to Makoto’s dick.

“I’ve been waiting to d…” Sousuke begins.

“You should come make sure your key works,” Makoto interrupts. He blushes like a damn schoolgirl as he says it, but Sousuke doesn’t tease him. It would honestly be pretty hypocritical of him.

Sousuke’s gaze falls away from Makoto. “Only if you’re sure,” he murmurs.

Makoto takes his hand and Sousuke looks back at him. “I am,” he gets out, and he’s actually a little terrified but no one got what they wanted without being a little brave first. Someone famous said that, he thinks.

He holds Sousuke’s hand all the way back to his apartment.

Sousuke’s key works perfectly.

 

* * *

 

Makoto’s hands twist into the sheets and something twists inside Sousuke as well. He presses his face into Makoto’s neck, breathing in his heat, reminding himself _this is just sex, it’s just Makoto,_ he should stop thinking about Makoto in the locker room this afternoon, or laughing in that restaurant or pulling him out of the pool because _it’s all too much_ when he’s got the real thing beneath him right now.

He’s got Tachibana Makoto; the sweet, green-eyed angel who smiles at old ladies and pets stray cats.

Makoto moans obscenely beneath him, a deliciously strangled sound, and Sousuke feels like he’s been shot in the chest.

Makoto’s green eyes flutter open and Sousuke rolls his hips up. Makoto’s gaze goes up and through Sousuke as he gasps again, pressing himself into the bed, head thrown back.

_Bastard. Demon. Fucking hell._

Sousuke grinds his teeth together, stifling his groan. Something in his chest aches keenly, pricking at his eyes.

Makoto might be breaking his heart.

 

* * *

 

Sousuke is a master in contradiction. His cool eyes are dark, bottomless in pleasure, but the rest of him is hot. So hot.

His touch sears into Makoto’s skin, leaving behind a bare field, a base need, a terrible _want._

_Oh god._

Sousuke grunts as he thrusts up heavily, a wave coming into shore, and Makoto can feel the miles of open sea behind the force. It takes his breath away.

He tries to say something, anything, because Sousuke is trembling when he touches Makoto, but he’s left speechless from the brush of Sousuke’s fingers over his cock.

“Makoto,” Sousuke hoarses out, and Makoto looks up at him, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Makoto,” Sousuke whispers again, descending, and then they’re kissing and it’s so sweet it aches.

Makoto has a moment to wonder when this all happened, before he comes, with a gasp, in Sousuke’s hand. It’s hard, and deep, like it has come all the way from his toes, and he arches off the sheets.

His heart is thrumming and he wrenches his eyes open as Sousuke thrusts one more time, dark and lean and determined. When he comes, Makoto drags him down fiercely for a sloppy open-mouthed kiss, trembling under his solid weight, the scent of his sweat.

This is different, Makoto thinks, as Sousuke breathes heavily on to his lips, their foreheads pressed together.

This is right.

 

* * *

 

Makoto makes him tea the next morning and offers him the shower. Sousuke stands in the shower and lets the water run through his hair, across his chest, between his thighs and he thinks Makoto might be the most terrifying person he’s ever known. Capable of innocently giggling with his cat but also falling into the sheets and fucking up everything you thought you knew about yourself.

Sousuke smiles softly. But he’s also-

“Sousuke?” Makoto calls through the door.

“Yeah?”

“Uh- someone called ‘Asshole Bastard’ is calling you?”

Makoto is obviously trying not to laugh and Sousuke snorts.

“That’s Rin, actually, just let it ring.”

Makoto lets out a warm laugh, muffled through the door. “I’ll let you deal with it when you get out then,” and Sousuke can hear the lingering smile in Makoto’s tone.

He’s out of the shower and the steam is finally clearing off of the mirror when Sousuke realizes he’s still grinning.

Which is all Makoto’s fault, he decides.

 

* * *

 

Makoto huffs a laugh when Sousuke’s phone buzzes with a voicemail notification. Voicemails from Rin are _always_ interesting.

As is natural whenever Rin is involved, Makoto’s thoughts drift to Haru. Quiet, cool-eyed Haru, far away in a pool somewhere, Rin no doubt close by. It is an image that was once painful, sometimes unbearably so. But now…

Now it’s like probing the hole in your gums where your tooth was and finding it no longer hurts. No longer hurts because there’s a new tooth poking through, a grown-up tooth this time. A permanent one.

Makoto shakes his head, smiling.

Teeth… really? He’s absolute shit with analogies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin was calling Sousuke bc Haru had a dream about Makoto being eaten by a whale shark and Rin was like ohohoho! and haru was like ohohoho? and basically Rin was calling to ~~congratulate~~ tease Sousuke.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> "Nobody ever fell in love without being a little bit brave." - Commander Shepard // Mass Effect 3


End file.
